My Initiation into SAHM Life

by Marie


For over 2 years, J and I have been living together as husband and wife. We both appreciate the principle of spending money to make money — maybe a little too much sometimes. At least, more often than most people, I think.

Anyway, we recently became maid-less and I’m only now learning what I probably should have already known since I was living on my own since college: sorting and doing laundry. Cooking and baking and keeping house (oh, and sewing too) are now TRULY becoming part of my arsenal of skills. Yay me! How I would have done all this without my trusty smartphone for ‘research’, I could not fathom.

When we were still living in a 2-br condo in the city, we paid for convenience — with take-out, laundry shops, and the occasional call for maintenance. This year we moved to our own house in the suburbs, a proper one with a yard and a garage and stairs. So, no more building admin for fixing stuff around the house – we’re now building our toolbox. No more laundry shops, I’m now learning the magic of the Korean washer with foreign writings the previous tenant generously left behind. No more food delivery… well, maybe yeah, every now and then, still, but definitely not practically for every meal like we used to. No more disposable plates and utensils — except maybe when we have a ton of guests.

Having just given birth to S when I was still working a normal office job, we knew it would be a lot to take on, so we sourced a maid from an agency. Unfortunately went through the replacement workers and now no more, just us — though I’m thankful I enjoyed having house help for a while so I could focus on work and on S. Now, though, as a newly inducted SAHM, I will have to add housekeeping, with some help from J. We’ll see how it goes. If other families can thrive, why not us? I’m willing to give it a shot. More specifically, J is willing to give me a shot. He knows how poor my domestic skills are but I asked for time and space to learn.

When I’m doing stuff around the house — it’s oddly calming and some down quiet time, which is easy for me to miss as my normal state is being constantly glued to S or my phone or my laptop. Always thinking of house stuff or of S or of work, always on. One of the things I wonder is… do I think this is a proper use of the 2 degrees I worked so hard for in college and my parents paid for. Then I think… that’s not the right question, is it? At this point in time, given all the possibilities and choices, am I happy? Am I healthy? Am I doing the right thing moving toward what I want to accomplish? I say yes to all those. I want to be a good wife and a good mother. What that will entail will probably change over time but right now, what I’m doing feels right.

J asked me last week… do I miss working? Going to the office? I answered without hesitation. No. Again, this might change — but right now, SAHM life is good.